As I sit and ponder my life and what’s to come, my fingers separate each nylon string. Yellow strings all tied neatly together by a silver ring, each one delicately woven to mark a special occasion.
As I separate the strings by two, I think of what has happened. How many years I have spent working towards this day? I hear in my mind all of these voices and all of the words. I’m no superman. I don’t have all of the answers. I have all of the same questions about where I’m going and what I’m going to do from this point on. What does this mean? The mark of the end of an era? The start of a new day? A new beginning? A new me? What are the expectations? I hear in my mind all of these voices telling me what I’m supposed to do and what is expected from others.
32 strings counted….looks about half of the strings. Half. Halfway. Am I half way there? Where is there? Should I know all of the answers now or only half of the answers?
Am I going to disappoint some or all by my decisions or am I going to disappoint myself in the end?
Today marks a significant day in my life and the lives of those who have been struggling by my side. We are to rejoice in knowing that we have accomplished something and look towards the future. My chest tightens and my breathing quickens when I think that this is it. This is supposed to be my day to shine, yet I still have no answers to the questions that lie before me. I should be elated and join in the celebration outside the door but my fear takes hold of me.
I finish counting the 64 strings of yellow colored nylon secured with the silver ring and smile. This yellow nylon tassel with the numbers 08 marks my passage into the next chapter of my life. I take a deep breath, stand and walk towards the future.
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This is really, really good. This is actually somewhat of how I really felt while sitting for my name to be called. Excellent job, V.
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